"I hurt, but in a good way."

As a Massage Therapist within a resort setting, I have heard this expression many times from people who have described their previous massage experiences. Then they tell me:

“I want you to make me cry.”
“I want you to take my breath away.”
“I can take it”
“I might be small but I REALLY want you to use a lot of pressure”
“Go ahead and hurt me because I know I need it”

What? These statements astonish me. First of all, as a professional Massage Therapist, I’m certainly not going to “hurt” you. Professionally and personally this is just makes no sense at all. So don’t even ask me to do this. After we have developed some sort of rapport, I may massage deeper depending upon the need or situation; but I would never ever perform massage with the intention of “hurting” anyone, at anytime ~ ever. Especially not in a resort setting! It is just never going to happen with me...ever!

It is also my experience that American men will typically ask for a “Deep Tissue” because they don’t want to appear as girly men. Machismo and massage does not mix. Just because you are six foot, four inches and weigh 300 pounds does not mean that Deep Tissue is your massage.

In the massage business, there are many styles of massages that are referred to as being Therapeutic. These are relaxing massages that offer many benefits such as:

• Alleviate low-back pain and improve range of motion.
• Assist with shorter, easier labor for expectant mothers and shorten maternity hospital stays.
• Ease medication dependence.
• Enhance immunity by stimulating lymph flow—the body’s natural defense system.
• Exercise and stretch weak, tight, or atrophied muscles.
• Help athletes of any level prepare for, and recover from, strenuous workouts.
• Improve the condition of the body’s largest organ—the skin.
• Increase joint flexibility.
• Lessen depression and anxiety.
• Pump oxygen and nutrients into tissues and vital organs, improving circulation.
• Reduce spasms and cramping.
• Relax and soften injured, tired, and overused muscles.
• Release endorphins—amino acids that work as the body’s natural painkiller and relieve migraine pain.

I would say that a large majority of folks that come to me for massage have unfortunately received a Therapeutic Massage that was anemic or lackluster at one time or another. I‘ve had them myself. They’re not pleasant and I usually cannot wait for them to finally be over. However, Therapeutic Massage, if done with intuitive pressure and real attention given areas of concern, is incredibly relaxing and extremely satisfying. Most importantly it is therapeutic!

Many clients (including many therapists!) mistakenly believe that therapeutic massage is simply a beginning “level” of therapy. I believe that certain therapists will actually tell clients that it is going to “hurt” because this is a way of imparting to a client a feeling of getting their money’s worth.

Is deeper massage work ever necessary? Absolutely! Deep Tissue, in particular, can be highly effective for adhesions which can block circulation and cause pain, limited movement, and inflammation. Deep tissue massage works by physically breaking down these adhesions to relieve pain and restore normal movement. To do this, the massage therapist often uses direct deep pressure or friction applied across the grain of the muscles.

The benefits are:

• Promote tissue regeneration, reducing scar tissue and stretch marks.
• Reduce post surgery adhesions and swelling.

Do most people need Deep Tissue Massage? Ummm….no. As my good friend and mentor, Jules Hamland, has taught me, you need to simply break the cycle of stress to begin to heal the body, mind and spirit.

Folks that come to me and want massage to “hurt them” are, in short, misinformed and looking for a quick fix. How long did it take those knots and sore muscles to become so plentiful? A year? A month? A week? A day? Then how on earth can anyone expect to get rid of this condition in about an hour? It doesn’t pass the test of reasonability and is akin to get rich quick schemes ~ instant gratification. Many times these are the very same clients that will return obsessively for more “hurt me” massages. Unfortunately, I believe there are some therapists who may take advantage of clients who want to “hurt in a good way” after massage.

After a massage, you should never say, “I hurt, but in a good way.” Pain is not good. Pain is our body’s way of telling us to change a particular behavior. To purposely inflict pain upon another person or to accept that pain with eagerness is, to be frank, just ignorant.

If you are looking for a very gratifying massage, find a therapist (like me) that actually listens to you and works with you, and not “on you.” I will bring together the right pressure and various techniques that will leave you in an absolute state of dizzying euphoria. A good therapist will help you to receive a massage that is correct for you. One way to start, for example, is by asking for a “firm” Swedish massage.

Please leave your thoughts on massage in general. What types work for you? What have been your best experiences?

Below is a link to my good friend and mentor Jules Hamland’s Wholistic Bodywork website. She has performed massage in many different settings. She teaches over-the-top pampering styles of massage. She is an expert in mobile massage and is completing her first ebook on the subject. Please check out her websites and pages here on Facebook (and don’t forget to “Like” them if you do).

Please see:
http://www.wholisticbodywork.info/,
http://www.bodyworkmentor.com/


From Jule’s Wholistic Bodywork website - “Throughout my years as a practicing Bodyworker, I have continuously run into a couple of interesting perceptions about bodywork: 1) You must experience pain in your massage or it’s a waste of time and money; or 2) If you aren’t experiencing pain, you don’t need a massage. From my viewpoint, both of these are gross misunderstandings of bodywork – at least in my world...”